the closest relative to an elephant
pictured above: elephant
is the hyrax.
pictured above: stupid pissed off rat
pretty stupid huh? it gets dumber.
the closest relative to a raccoon
horny probably gay raccoon
is the giant panda.
NOM NOM NOM NOM
that raccoon is laying down serious dick. he probably boned every other raccoon he could find before he started running through dogs alphabetically. pandas can't even be bothered to get a handjob.
these seem pretty wild and opposite, but i found one that makes perfect sense.
me
odds on self-defecation: 50/50
the dude with the biggest dick in the world
not the guy with the biggest dick in the world, but it -is- the #1 google result for "biggest dick in the world"
the world makes sense now.
